So this morning I'm sipping my tea. According to the long life milk carton, I'm drinking pure milk. 100% milk. From a cow. Or at least I assume that what the cow picture on the carton implies. Well, try telling my taste buds that. Because this morning they're having a seriously tough time believing that this white toxic waste that is now violating their innocence, once resided in the udder of a cow.
That's because it probably never did.
Long life milk is actually imported from a lemon-shaped planet far far away, delivered to your local supermarket by a navigationally impaired sewer rat named Merv. Just like we raise our children on breast milk, the milking machines that reign here raise their robot babies on UHT processed limestone.
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| Robot baby - likely to live a long life. |
And whenever a carton of their finest reaches its expiry date, well let's just call in Merv the courier guy and have him drop off a package on a planet far far away known as Earth.
More tea?
